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Bekker, Balthasar · [1692]

Judges point out. I suffer it too; as much as my conscience can bear; and have already suffered as long and as much as was laid upon me. But I thought all this suffering would make an end of my struggle: as there is nothing that supports or strengthens the sufferer more, than that he sees the end of it, and comes near to the pleasant rest; just as a day laborer pants for the evening shadow. For now two kinds of people, who complained of the severity or the laxity of the church dealings against me, according to how they were differently minded, gradually fell to the third sort; who satisfied themselves since I was satisfied. The entire Government the ruling magistrates of the city was pleased that that heavy movement took an end; (so it seemed) which for a full eight months had been looked upon with so much concern, as being likely to bring such a populous city, and the land all around, into such a great confusion, as in the past has caused a notable revolution in Church and State in our Netherlands. And so the largest and best part of the city and congregation was in expectation, and the well-meaning especially in hope, that at the end of the time of my suspension, they would see me climb the pulpit again as before, and enjoy my service in everything that belongs to it. But that has completely escaped me and many peaceful Christians. To prevent the end of my suffering, and to bring my patience to an end, I see many in arms, more than before: who come from outside, and make trouble inside; and to such an end constantly and from all sides, inside and outside, vote together. The center of those movements is the Circular Letter, thus named by its own writers; which draws with it in its circle Letters, Resolutions, Gravamina official grievances, Requests, and Protests. All together means to thrust me out of service, were it possible: and subsequently others, who are in their way or in their sight; when I shall merely be the first, who seemingly stand closest to the door, and as if on the shovel. Not only the oral language used by some here and there: but printed books, or their Prefaces, such as by Leydekker, Koelman, Brink,